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Courtship and Dating: Whose standard will you follow? (Articles last updated: Thu Aug 20 14:02:34 EST 1998) What is dating, What is courtship? -- not just word games, but a different perspective. Defining relationships -- what is a real relationship? Relationship based on covenant -- whose wife are you dating? My courtship -- a trip into the future :) Wrap-up -- what to do while you wait, further resources. The cherem of courtship -- All about flirting... [DRAFT] Top 25 reasons not to date -- Problems with today's model of recreational dating. [COMING SOON!] Rules, guidelines and principles -- The letter of the law vs. the spirit of the law. Over 25? -- A few thoughts for older singles [DRAFT] Pop Quiz -- test your knowledge of the bible and relationships! :) Your views: Please mail me with your opinions on this topic!

Web Resources

Sarah Faith's Courtship Rings is a published email list moderated by Sarah Faith Schlissel. Sarah also has an article, from the October 1995 issue of Focus on the Family Magazine, entitled Dating in the Nineties: Courtship makes a comeback, by Jim and Anne Ryun. The Dating Dilemma Home Page provides a number of resources including an article on Emotional Purity, books and CDs. Jonathan Lindvall, of Bold Christian Living runs seminars on relationships and the family, including betrothal. Read Comparisons of Dating, Courtship, and Scriptural Betrothal for a brief outline of the terms used by many of the articles on this page. The following four articles constitue the basis of his new book, God's Design for Youthful Romance: Youthful Romance: Scriptural Patterns The Dangers of Dating: Scriptural Romance--Part 1 Dating? Courtship? Betrothal ?: Scriptural Romance--Part 2 A True Romantic Betrothal Example Joshua Harris has written an number of articles on courtship, as published in New Attitude magazine, including: History of Dating, subtitled 'Dating Problems, Courtship Solutions'. Beyond Formulas Just Friends in a Just Do It World Forget Courtship: Why our first and main focus need to be on the Lord. Principled Romance, as published in The Voice. The Sisters in Christ have a number of articles on Courtship: Courtship is Making a Comeback by Mark Price, as published in Knight-Ridder Newspapers. Dating Versus Courting by Jonathan Lindvall. Dating Trap Avoided Through Emotional Abstinence by Michael Farris. Bringing it all into Perspective by Catherine Perkins. Emotional Fornication part one and part two, by Greg Spencer (an extract from his book A Heart for Truth: Taking Your Faith to College, as published in the Fall 1994 edition of New Attitude magazine.) Choosing God's Best by Kathie Morrissey of the Courtship Connection. Jay Lang's list of resources on Dating and Courtship has a large list of printed resources, some other WWW sites, and an article by him, Dating?. Pastor Brian Watts of The King's Centre has provided the notes on-line for his seminar on Dating vs. Courtship Wake Up, Little Suzy by Douglas Wilson, as published in Credenda/Agenda. This is basically the introduction to his book Her Hand in Marriage, see below. Fairfax Covenant Church (Fairfax, VA) have some guidelines in an article entitled What is courtship and when am i ready for it? Mike Mackey has some articles discussing Christian courtship, including FAQs, Parenting and Courtship, Jim Ryun and The Courtship Bulletin Board a place for courting families and individuals to leave messages, ask questions, make comments, etc. It has a number of solid answers to questions. Larry Ver Hoef has written an article about courtship, entitled The Dating Christian, published in Huh. Diary of the Hip. The ensuing discussion starts with a posting Courtship v. Dating? by Tim. Aubrey Rhea O'Fallon has written an article on Courtship versus Dating. Don MacIntyre has written an article, Dating vs. Courtship: The real issue is commitment. Cameron Tully discusses his journey about courtship in Raising Expectations, as published in Welcome Home Australia. H. Newton has an article, I went Courtin' when Courtin' wasn't Cool Another success story of courtship, Jennifer's Story Patriach magazine published an article on The Dangers of Dating in issue #24. The Balaam's Ass Speaks journal has published three articles, Why Not Dating?, Courtship and marriage of your kids and The Virtue Of Waiting. Eric J. Blievernicht's Guide to Christian Courtship, including The Modern Courtship Process Tim Schmoyer's article on (Dating vs. Courting) relationships Randy Booth has a tape set The Covenant Household includes a tape RB157 which has Courtship Parental Responsibility and Authority (side 1) Courtship Covenantal and Sexual Relationship (side 2). Kimberly Hahn has a 4-tapes series on Dating and Courtship: A Catholic Perspective, #5244 (4 audio tapes), $22.95. David Lowry has an article on Biblical Standards for Choosing a Mate. See also the Courtship Webring below.

Printed Resources

Reb Bradley of Family Ministries has a number of his own resources, including a booklet Dating: Is it Worth the Risk?, exerpted from his book, Effective Parenting of Teens. It develops concepts of courtship from the dating perspective. Family Ministries also distributes some of the other resources on this page. Dating vs. Courtship by Paul Jehle is the most complete, principle-based and Biblical book I have seen on this subject so far. I highly recommend it. This is the textbook for Pastor Lon's CLST course outline below. Lon Stokes (based in Othello, WA) has extensively studied biblical courtship, and from his findings has prepared a class on Christian Courtship. He will be teaching the first session in the Seattle area in early January, 1998. It is a 10-hour course organized in the CLST format. Mail Columbia Christian Center for more details. Craig Hill has written a number of excellent books on relationships, as well as several series of tapes. His resources are available from Australia, the USA and the UK. Start out with His Perfect Faithfulness: The Story of Our Courtship, by Eric and Leslie Ludy -- it's a great introduction to courtship. Follow up with Romance God's Way the book form of their now well-known seminar (also available on video). Canon Press and Book Service (based in Moscow, ID) have several books and a tape series on biblical courtship in their catalogue, including Her Hand in Marriage and Christian Courtship vs. The Dating Game. Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson is worth buying if only for the superb analogy/story he tells in it's last few pages. His early chapters also provide a great explaination to the roots of dating and courtship, and God's plan for relationships. Developing Proper Relationships is a tape series by Tim Robinson on biblical relationships. I haven't heard it yet, but I have heard other messages by Pastor Tim which were excellent! :) The Courtship Connection sell most of the books on this page as well as a number of tapes and other courtship materials, most at the lowest prices (Paul Jehle's for $9). Their catalogue includes: God's Plan for Finding a Mate - Dating? Courting? Betrothing? by Dr. S. M. Davis Courtship and Dating: A Biblical Analysis by Angela Hanson Of Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff and Danielle Myers (Audio) How Betrothing Worked for Us: Testimony of Dennis and Lisa Moravek with Dr. S. M. Davis, subtitled: How God clearly led their parents to help them find their mates! (Fiction) The Courtship of Sarah McLean by Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Castleberry (Fiction) Waiting for Her Isaac by Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Castleberry Landmark Distributors sell Paul Jehle's book as well as other courtship materials. Resources listed below this line have not yet been reviewed by me in detail, but I will be researching them soon: The Courtship Testimony of Shane and Amy Anderson by Amy Anderson Joshua Harris has written a best-selling book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye, published by Multinomah Press. I have a copy I haven't finished reading yet. Join the dozens who have told me to finish it by mailing me :) Pastor Jim West has written a booklet, Christian Courtship vs. The Dating Game published by Christian Worldview Ministries, also available from Canon Press and Book Service and The Courtship Connection. In Basic Digest--Relating Without Dating Newletter RR. 1, Box 58, Hillsboro. IL 62409 (Christian/teen courting) The Institute in Basic Life Principles is a well-known organization with excellent seminars on building character and authentic relationships. The Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar contains some teaching about the negative aspects of the of dating, and IBLP also have a 10-page booklet on courtship, Establishing Biblical Standards of Courtship, by Bill Gothard and associates published by ATIA, Box One, Oak Brook, Illinois 60522-3001, phone (708) 323-9800 Guidelines for Courtship and Preparation for Marriage by Jeff Barth. Includes experiences of his children who have gone through courtship/betrothal/marriage. $6.00 plus $2.00 S&H, Parable Publishing House, RD2, Box 2002, Middleburg, Vermont 05753 Families, Dating and the Bible by Earl and Diane Rodd, 6044 Pine Creek Street, N.W., N. Canton, Ohio 44720, $1.00 plus shipping. The Home Life Ministries - Online Catalogue contains a number of tapes teaching on courtship. Greg Price has a video, Dating or Courtship: Which is Biblical? and a book Christian Education in the Home: Help! My Daughter Wants to Date available from S??? [Note: From these pages, I probably don't agree with Price on a couple of "key" (but quite unessential to salvation) theological issues regarding worship (the psalter and instruments)] Kevin Takenaka has written a review, and Andrew Haylett has written another one. Help! My Daughter Wants to Date by Greg Price, $3.98 (Canadian) bound photocopy. Still Water Revival Books, 4710-37A Ave., Edmonton, Alberta, Canada T6L-3T5, phone (403) 450-3730, fax (403) 465-0237 Other assorted resources and articles: The Summit Canada '97 conference had a unit on Dating vs. Courtship, and they are having it again this year, now entitled Christian View of Courtship & Marriage. Passion4 Purity, a group of teens who have committed to remain sexually pure throughout their life. Ruth is by far the greatest example of courtship in the Bible. This article looks promising: Ruth, The Story of Right Woman Sexual Purity: Beyond Legalism is an excellent article on the general principles we should follow in relationships, instead of legalistic rules. Naomi Banta's I Don't Date, Really I Don't Three Guys Look at Relationships, by three guys wise enough to question today's model of relationships. Young Women Stepping Heavenward provides resources for young Christian women who want to pursue God. Unbending Faith Describing the gift of chastity -- do you have it? Calvary Chapel, Albuquerque's perspective on Dating, and then published in Australia: Dating Christian Courtship Abstinence website Ballet, Butterflies, and B Chords Hope's Love Page Starlite's Home Page Still Waters Revival Books have some sermons on cassette Discovery Online -- Courtship, Birth of Dating gives a historical overview from a secular perspective. The Future of Love -- Utne cover section provides a brief historical overview of courtship and dating through history from a secular point of view. Dating and courtship from a Mormon perspective (Yes, I do believe Mormonism is deception and a twisted version of Christianity, but they do follow some biblical principles). Another wordly perspective -- but it might make a good start for dads! :) Dating Application

Biblical relating (instead of dating! :) churches

Since 'courtship' means different things to different people, I won't call this a list of pro-courtship churches, but rather a list of churches who have recognized that the worldly model of dating is flawed, and have determined to return to a more biblical method of relating without romance, until two people are ready to commit themselves to the only romantic relationship they will ever develop in their life, with their spouse. Hopefully this definition encompasses both courtship and betrothal, and even those who are just beginning to set a standard. United States of America Mountain Home, ID New Life Church, Hermann, MO Bible Presbyterian Church (PCA), Concord, NC Grace Bible Fellowship, Walpole, NH Othello, WA Lifestream Christian Fellowship, Puyallup, WA Spokane, WA Maple Valley, WA Australia Frankston, Victoria Melbourne, Victoria Seaford, Victoria Smithton Christian Fellowship, Smithton, Tasmania Yours! Mail me to add your church!